"I have work. Then a dinner thing, and then I am busy trying to become who I am." - Hannah, Girls

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Still With Her, Still Making It Nasty

November 8, 2016: 
I wake up at 5:45am. I can't go back to bed because I am too excited to vote for the first time in my life. I am in my car by 6am. I am voting for Hillary Clinton by 6:30am. I am watching the news at Aly's at 7pm. We walk to a bar around 11pm. I hear cheers when Hillary gets Nevada. I go home at midnight. I sit and watch the news on my couch. I do not remember the moment that I realized we had lost. What I do remember, and what I will never forget, are the emotions I have felt in the past 20 hours.

November 9, 2016: 
I'm in bed at 2am, crying myself to sleep as I watch CNN on my phone. I wake up at 6am, unable to rest. I cry on my way to the gym at 6:30am. Cry on my way back from the gym around 7:30am. I cry to my mom on the phone at 8am. I cry at 10:40 am in class as I watch Hillary address young women and girls in her concession speech. I cry in my painting class around noon because I'm so overwhelmed. I cry at 3:30pm on my way to babysit talking on the phone with my mom again.

Now: I am not crying. But I am livid. I am confused. I am scared. And I am ashamed.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Thursday Pep Talk!

Now go out there and conquer the day! Kick ass! Smile! Be funny and nice!

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

poetry isn't my bag, baby (but it was my homework so here)

"Yes" by me, slagzy

Because we knew that mom couldn’t eat
A sandwich from your favorite lunch place,
We would go get turkey clubs and sweet tea
With our grandmother instead.

Your favorite food was tough
Lunch: sandwiches
Dinner: cheeseburgers
Dessert: ice cream and Moon Pies

At first, even the smell of mayonnaise
Made me sad, but my sadness has
Into the only way I know how to
memories that I do have
Of you

So I
Sneak out for waffle cones and
Drive with my windows down and
Stop for Sonic Happy Hour and
Always buy Cadbury Eggs at Easter time

I ate for ten years
With you
And am eating for ten
Years without you

Even when it’s
Colder than the hospital cafeteria
And I’m
Sick to my stomach of sweets
I always say