"I have work. Then a dinner thing, and then I am busy trying to become who I am." - Hannah, Girls

Friday, May 20, 2016

"Bow Down Bitches." - B̶e̶y̶o̶n̶c̶é̶ Queen Me

Earlier in the day, this post was going to be an ode to running outside. Over the past few hours, however, this has turned into something very different.

This morning I went to Orange Theory with my sister. My mom loves the classes. I enjoyed it and was happy I went, but it confirmed what I already knew: I hate treadmills. I would rather run 6 miles outside than 1.5 miles on the treadmill to be honest. But I'm not getting into that right now.

Today was a rainy day. After I got back home form working out, I didn't leave the house again. I showered, put on my pajamas, and plopped myself down on the couch. It was a day of reality TV and pointless Candy Crush. Nothing interesting happened until a few hours ago when my mother casually mentioned how my family has a castle.

Well, we don't really have a castle. A few weeks ago, my mom and her siblings researched our family tree. As it turns out, we have a direct line to a castle and a dope country home overseas.

Deep down, I always knew we were of the aristocracy. It's no coincidence I pranced to perfection to Mambo 5 during cotillion classes. There's a reason I passed manners class in elementary school with flying colors. You should see the way I gracefully put my elbows on the table and secretly drink milk straight out of the carton. It's obvious that I'm basically royalty. I mean, ever since I was little I knew that my mother's pointy nose meant that we were high class. My brother has the same sharp nose. I have my father's nose, but am more than fine being a average-sized nose girl related to slender, long-nosed family members.

As far as I'm concerned, today I learned that I am a queen. Or a princess. Or at least a dame? A duchess? A something.

I googled countless pictures of my relatives and the town that my family lived in once upon a time. I hope to visit the area one day. But in the mean time, I'm happy with the knowledge that yes, mom, I am the Queen Bee.

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